Erased?

Do you linger on to the past because you haven't found a better now? Or is it simply because you don't want to forget the past? Aiya shit lah what's past is past! Forget about it ok! I hate myself when I can't pull myself together. Sometimes when you slump into a depression mode especially at that time of the month when your hormones go haywire, you tend to lament about the past, about the misfortunes, about the impossibilities, and the likes. Then your depression got worsened! WTF!

I always feel that I gotta put in double effort than other people to achieve the same results. I will always arrive at the same 'destination' slower than people. This is me - 比别人慢一拍! This is so frustrating. But everytime I try to straighten my thought that GOD is testing my perseverance. You are the selected one to go through the hard way because you have the might to do so, other people are too easily daunted and weak to go through the same path. I can actually 'self-cure'. Gradually, I develop an immunity. Major problems I choose to self-rely. But this is not healthy I suppose because some people told me it is ok to loosen up, to be weak, to rely, to depend, to trust, to take off the shield, to just lean on a shoulder..

Fortunately, I will always have a positive feeling that there is always a silver lining behind every dark cloud. This is because you gotta have faith that generates hope that ultimately things will turn to the gd side because GOD wouldn't forsake you. Just make out the best of your current situation :) This is the thinking I am having now until my next hormone imbalance strikes :p

Slow Slow mth...J.U.N.E

This month is exceptionally slow in everythg. Shit manz! My sales sux big time that I have decided to call it quits. Think I will treat my last week at Thomson as graduating mode. Very sorry to my colleague who has helped me get a deal but I didn't continue from there to get more deals! Owe HER many many big times! Dunno she 'heng' or I 'heng' that both of us become friends haha Think me more 'heng' lah hor

To make matters worse, now the entire economy is undergoing correction that stock prices are dropping like nobody's business. So many people are profit-taking now and withdrawing from the market. India economy is affected so much! Wonder how long this is going to last. For goodness sake! Pls! If Fed is gonna raise the interest rate again, which is very likely then G.B.M!

So much abt the negative side, the only consolating excitement is World Cup. Don't despise me as yet for having the reason as guy-watching though it constitutes a little. I understand the game alright! It drives up my blood pressure and increases my heartbeat. And yes you are right coz I BET, that is why I will experience this haha. So far so good :)

A 'Thank You' from friend

I was msn-ing as usual with a friend. It may sound cheesy but she actually thanked me for being her friend. She appreciates me being in her life all the while. Wow.... She thanked me for chiding her when she is blinded, for being open when opinionating her, for being around when she wants to share her ups and downs.. This is one of an official 'Thank You' from her :) This is also the first time I receive such warming expression from a friend. Come to think of it, I have never said 'Thank You' to a friend for being my friend yet. Like I said it does get a little bit cheesy for me, but it is kept in my heart for sure :)

I can truly describe this friend as a bottle of wine placed in the cabinet. When you have party, you don't always open this bottle of vintage but rather you would prefer the populars like Vodka, Tequila, Gin and the like coz they represent 'party time'. However, sometimes you do need quiet times alone; like brooding, thinking, fantasising.. This time you will unconsciously take the vintage out and simmer it.. Different groups of friends suit different occasions and moods.

Maybe you can start asking yourself "If I am in some hot soup one day, who will I look for? Who will I think I can do or do without? Who will only disrupt and not contribute?" If you have friends whom you can turn to in 'times of turmoil' without feeling embarrassed, CONGRATULATIONS! They bring charcoals to you when you are cold.

Next question: "If I am organising a party next week, who will I invite?" CONGRATULATIONS TOO! They bring flowers to SHARE your 'stardom'!

Family Love X Friendship Love X Partner Love X Spiritual Love

To balance your Yin-Yang and hormones, you need the combination of the above 4. Consequently with health and money, you are invincible! Stress that I put LOVE above everythg else because it nourishes your body, makes you mentally healthy and makes you a rich and fulfiled person.

Family

They provide a safe haven for you. No matter what storms you brave outside, when you stepped into your house, you see that food prepared, bed made, house tidied, remote control 50cm away only, fridge packed with snacks and drinks, harmless naggings.. you are blessed. Family is the fundamental. You won't speak to them all about your stuff, but when the worse comes to the worst, somehow they will know it because somehow you will turn to them, somehow they will be your last resort, and somehow they can solve your problem ;P Not everybody has this luxury. Once taken away, all you can do is commemorate; rely on your memories. Sometimes you may even fall into a frantic panicky mode - afraid that your memories will fade on you. Then you start to record down events, dreams, thoughts to fall back on. Gradually, you talk to yourself in your mind because it's just like sharing with them. You become self-reliant, independent because you are talking to yourself and getting the reply from 'inside' when it is supposed to be blurted out. At this point, you become a little imbalance in your hormones because this aspect is malnourished. You may be weird if you dare to admit it. Let's see if other ingredients are able to compensate this lack.

Friendship

Friends are great! Let's categorise them:

Acquaintance - relationship less intimate than friendship. Your relationship is brought together by a circumstance, place or situation. Once you isolate from these, the relationship ends as the foundation is not strong. For e.g. project mates, classmates, colleagues, your regular hair stylist, the char kuay teow uncle you patronise everyday.

Friend - a person whom you know, like, and trust. This relationship is not so superficial anymore. You don't only talk about tv drama, market, sale anymore. You touch on personal topics like family, BGR, gossips, dreams and wishes. You don't feel awkward about sharing them because you know they would be interested to know. You wouldn't be embarrassed to share your wildest fantasy too. You like to make fun of them as you know they won't be angry.

True Friend - a person whom you connect mentally, emotionally, physically with. You cry in front of her. You want to share the slightest nitty, gritty thing with them. Be it good news, bad news or no news, you want to call them to feel secured. You dare to shout at them, pin point their mistakes, quarrel heatedly because you know you would eventually make up with them without grudges. You won't bear to ignore them for more than half a day. You just feel uneasy if you do so. You treasure them and want to age gracefully together with them; play mahjong, high tea, talk about grandchild..

Generally, acquaintances will form 60%, friends 30% and true friends 10%. Quality beats Quantity! If you have a good handful of True Friends, your hormones can balance up a bit. They can compensate a limited extent of your lack in Family Love. As you must understand, they have their own family, social network, and work to run. They can't be around 24/7, maybe just 12/3. Most importantly, your Yin-Yang will be lopsided also because normally your true friends are your same gender. That's when you need Partner Love to balance up your Yin-Yang.

Partner Love

This can be provided by spouse, BF/GF or lover/mistress. To be in a BGR is a wonderful and blissful experience because your partner can give you tender loving care which no one can provide. For girl, your bf can dote on you, buy you flowers or gifts, fetch you around, sweet-talk you, kiss you, hug you.. and vice-versa. Fancy your friend/family member doing that to you?? **PUKE** That's why!! Your partner can accompany you around without grumbles because they are obligated, even with grumbles, they are also obligated! Mind you! They can be mobilised 24/7 too. They can make you into a pretty lady or a handsome man because this love is the best ingredient to make you glow, radiate, and cheer up. If family love is the foundation of a building, then this love will form the pillars ~ equally important.

So this aspect here must be adequate to balance up your Yin/Yang. So sometimes, you will hear comments like this spinster is very weird, men rarely because they can release their 'angst' at other places ya. No matter how strong, independent you are, you need this Love or you are not complete anymore. Don't believe, you try otherwise.

Spiritual Love

This can be said to be the most powerful love. If you can experience this spiritual love truthfully, you are as staunch as Eiffel Tower, nothing will daunt you! ~~ based on XXX's experience. If you lack this love, you won't have hormonal disorder nor Yin-Yang imbalance because GOD loves you! All you will feel is emptiness, that's all :)

Hence, now a question to ask yourself, to what percentage do the above 4 constitute YOU? Remember BALANCE, balance, BaLanCE!!!

/Angry/Pissed/

I don't understand how come some ppl are so incorrigible and arrogant. So what if you are freaking rich. You don't own the world. You don't have it all! Yes, you may be irritated by many marketing calls but pls have the basic courtesy to reject the calls in a civilised way. You are educated, mind you! You can help yourself by telling the callers you do not wish to receive such calls in future and to make a remark in the system. Don't behave as if you feed us! You don't! Perhaps you are an empty vessel that needs to make a lot of noise to have your presence felt. Alot of truly rich in cash, rich in mind and rich in heart customers are in fact gracious. They don't dwell on peanut issues and view matters in kind. So, stupid idiotic customer - "I am sincerely cursing you from the bottom of my heart right now!"

Decision & Horoscope Reading: The Link? Fortune Telling!

Today I made 'THE DECISION'. I would be leaving. Just as I was not harping onto the fact of leaving and continued as per normal with my job, I chanced upon this:

"You may wake up feeling a little directionless, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. You are probably in a holding pattern of sorts -- waiting for the right time to come in for a landing, so to speak. There are things moving around you in unpredictable ways, but rather than going forward and hoping for the best, you're smart to stay back and let things settle on their own first. You have a very interesting view on things -- one that you should keep in mind for later.”

Gosh! I just made the decision and yet right after, I see this. What am I gonna do? I am strictly not a believer of Horoscope reading, but remember a few posts before i wrote that a reading boosted my confidence, and today I just unconsciously clicked on the link to have my reading again, and THERE IT GOES! I shld have stucked to my principle. Nevermind - it applies to Virgos, don't tell me it applies to the billions of Virgos in the whole freaking world?!

Seriously speaking i am a curious freak, I used to visit fortune tellers and I read up a lot of related books. Hence I have ample experiences to share! Let me tell you truthfully......In fact, Ba Zi (birthdate, year and time) can tell alot about a person in general. For instance, whether he/she was borned in the elements of JING, MU, SHUI, HUO, TU aka metal, wood, water, fire and earth. For e.g. if your Ba Zi bears a huge content of FIRE, you would have noticed that your body, by nature, is heaty. You get hot and sweat easily, and you have a bad temper. You generally will do well in months/years when the element is WATER to neutralise your FIRE as we need balance of elements. Notice that your liver will also be weak as this organ belongs to the FIRE element. However, a person can have more than 1 element which is very 'strong', maybe Metal and Fire. Hence, the reading will be more complicated for me to elaborate.

The bottonline is as long as a fortune teller has your Ba Zi, it is easy to 'READ' you. Don't be quite amazed when they give remarks like "Take care of your limps, they get hurt easily. OR you fly into a rage easily. OR you are a very soft-hearted person, friends always take advantage of you. OR You have a lot of XIAO REN (backstabbers), be careful in your workplace" etc etc. Then you will go "WAH! HEN ZUN HOR, HEN HAO LEH (wow very accurate, gd gd)!! Familiar?

There is a standard table to categorise your Ba Zi to obtain a reading. Every year, month carries a different element even places, hence if either one of these factors complement your Ba Zi, you will be smoother in your everythg. Treat fortune telling as an exposure and general guide to your ownself, we can't rely on it because there is an even more divine power overseeing us. Only HE can perform miracles in the least expected circumstances. and this is not guided by Ba Zi.

I am quite happy now that I don't quite indulge myself in fortune telling. Maybe after so many readings, I kinda get bored by what they said coz I know what they gonna say! And sometimes rather inconsistent :P Last few weeks, my colleague very much wanted to have her fortune told because she SUCKED big time in her work - distraught, traumatised and ....anyway SUCKY la! Then asked me accompany her. I told her seriously not to coz this is not gonna help! Yes, maybe initially but won't last, trust me! She was desperate to go though, finally I let her be because for first timers like her is usually curious (I can understand). So I thought "ok fine, let her try and experience that this is not a solution then she will not harbour any more reliance on this". She chickened out at Fu Lu Shou building in front of the shop! GOSH! Wasted my time! In the end, went to have her 'AURA' pic taken. WHAT THE FREAK! Sighhhh.... Let's see what she wants again next time...To be continued then...

Stefanie Sun

I like Stefanie alot. She is my idol. I like her character - kinda freestyle! I like her songs particularly these 2..

原點 - 蔡健雅／孫燕姿 曲︰陳文華 詞︰杜鑫

孫：擁抱的時候　心情有點痛 也許提早感受到寂寞
蔡：離開的時候　只聽見沉默 除了沉默我還能怎麼做選擇
蔡：別對我抱歉　別總覺得對我虧欠 現在他在妳的身邊　就對他好一點
＊孫：不要再讓　你們的愛　敗給了時間
合：既然遇見了永遠　就不要說再見
蔡：不要再讓　你們的愛　輸給了永遠
合：我們曾經過那麼多考驗
蔡：最後還是回到了原點
孫：總有那一天　相遇的瞬間 確定那些冷漠的從前　已走遠
蔡：別對我抱歉　別總覺得對我虧欠
合：現在誰在妳的身邊　就對誰好一點
重唱　＊ 孫：我應該　就走開　就算感情還在
蔡：我應該　就放開　對他不再依賴
孫：忘了曾有過的片段
蔡：這是屬於
合︰你們的未來
孫：不要看到　你們的愛　敗給了時間 我寧願選擇離別　沒有一句怨言
蔡：直到你能　若無其事　聊起了從前
合：我才發現彼此都了解 默契是最寶貴的語言

我也很想他 - 孫燕姿 曲︰彭學斌 詞︰彭學斌 編︰杜自持

*那時我們總有好多話　什麼事都可以講
我的愛情比你早　卻一直放在心上
後來你們之間的變化　我不想再多說話
經過了相遇和掙扎 我還是無法將他放下

＃那是多久後的事了　有一天你突然問我
在那個時候　是否也愛著他

＋我也很想他　我們都一樣
在他的身上　曾找到翅膀
只是那時的他　是因為你他開始飛翔

％我也很想他　在某個地方
我少了尷尬　你少了肩膀
而夏天還是那麼短　思念卻很長

重唱　＊,＃,＋,％

還記得　那年我們曾許下的願望
星星騙了我們　我們卻因此上了一課
成長必修的學分

重唱　＋,％

我們都一樣

DnD 17Feb'06 Bollywood

Someone told me my blog is very boring because there's no 'colours' - no pics. So I will add in my DnD pics on 17 Feb'06 - Bollywood Theme!

These are my team-mates from Aljunied and Thomson. I guess I can easily pass out as an Indian seriously.

My Bodyguards!

Joline Me Genie

Me Joline

Ben: "Read between the line"

Salsa Class and A Mole Above the Upper Lip

Today's lesson was fulfilling though coz didn't make too much of a blunder. I finally got CBLT correct coz I always turn wrong side, gosh! Now I understand the gist of it - let the guy lead and turn, don't predict what's he gonna do for next step. So like what Mich has always said "Salsa is a male chauvinist dance as girls just follow". But ain't this gd? We don't have to worry what step to make, just follow - brainless effort! This is quite a suitable analogy in life and relationships. I hope my future guy will be the leading one and I will be the follower. The bottomline is he must be convincing enough for me to want to follow!!! I don't follow blindly alright? We are new age, independent, brainy women!

The story about a mole above the upper lip. The female lead is Michele Chan. She has a conspicuous black mole above her upper lip. XX (wimp who doesn't want to be identified) and I have concluded it symbolizes chatterbox, talk very fast and eat a lot. Not like what Michele has interpreted as got 'Kou Fu' but indirectly yes lah coz eat alot sure got 'Kou Fu' wat. Michele has a bottomless pit in her stomach. Anythg edible can be gorged down her throat anywhere and anytime. Let's label her as 'edible-vorous'. For e.g. today: Breakfast (10.30am) BK Croissant Meal. Lunch (1pm) Char Siew Roast Pork Rice. Tea Break (4.30pm) Minced Pork Noodles + 2 Slices Kaya Toast. Dinner unknown bet she will have supper instead. Yet she can say this is normal!!!! If she is not tall, she will be a fatso now!

Goodness Gracious Me!

Cosmopolitan

This is rightfully my favourite cocktail because this is the favourite drink of Carrie in Sex & the City. Ain't I shallow? Nevermind anyway the drink is tasty enough to qualify as my favourite cocktail. If I am poor and thirsy, beer booze will be my first choice because they are cheap. E.g. $15 for 2 bottles or $28 for a jug. Hoegarden, Carlsberg and Heineken are gd choices, Tiger not as much because it is sort of thick and 'heavy'. But if I am FEELING rich (I emphasize it is a feeling and not a matter of fact), I would go for cocktail because they are sweet and will induce a happy feeling. Beer boozing is for drowning sorrows haha

Recipe for Cosmopolitan:

Ingredients:
0.5 oz Cranberry juice, 0.5 oz Lime juice, 0.5 oz Triple sec (liquor flavoured by oranges), 1.0 oz Vodka

Directions:
Shake vodka, triple sec, lime and cranberry juice vigorously in a shaker with ice. Strain into a martini glass, garnish with a lime wedge on the rim, and serve.

Can Cafe is most generous in serving cosmopolitan as it uses vino grande glass instead of martini glass - maybe they don't have la. Maybe I will prepare for my partner various cocktails next time, so sweet right?

Serendipity

I like this movie a great deal! It gives hope :) Serendipity basically means 'fortunate accident'. An accident actually brings two complete strangers together, they develop a liking for each other within the day, they lost each other, and a few years later got back together through FATE. Seriously, it may seems absurb but I believe totally such thing will happen. Hope-Faith-Love.

If I have a wish, I wish to go to Medieval Times where knights, heroes, princesses exist. I would be horseriding, strawberries picking, singing in the grasslands, and thereafter meet my prince :) kekeke NO LAUGHING!!! Esp Jas! I know u are bursting out in laughters!

As I was doing this post, another philosopher came in "the life unexamined is a life not worth living" Quoted from Mark Twain adapted from Shirley, MSN.

Ben the Philosopher!

Ben's comments after reading the previous blog - "God is talking to u...How true...Are u sure the horoscope is true or u fake it???? Well so decided or undecided...Choices are made everyday good or bad...right or wrong...No correct answer...As we live in a grey ages where right can be wrong and wrong can be right....So dun worry too much about your decision cause there is a chinese saying...Sai Weng Shi Ma, Yan Zi Fei Fu.... "

Why do you think I faked it? Too free is it though right now I really am haha ok I will let boss know my decision by Wed ok?!

Crossroad = Dilemma?

Shld I remain a big fish in a small pond or a small fish in a big pond? Quoted from Ben Lee, Aljunied.

This is the question I have been pondering over and over, and is eating me up seriously. Nobody likes to leave his/her comfort zone where everythg seems so familiar and usual. You have the familiar faces, familiar scenarios, familiar jokes, and the least worth mentioning - familiar lull period, familiar place where PBs are more than cx, familiar disgruntle, dismay, discontent and disappointment~~ The rapport I have built up will be deleted and restarted in a new environment.

I have been asking my friends/colleagues umpteen times for the past 3 days so much so that Ge is limiting me 3 times per day to ask this qn - shld I or shld I not leave? Imagine I asked 15 friends/colleagues this qn, and per person per day thrice, I had repeated this qn 45 times in a day! Can sort of imagine the dilemma I am in right? haha

Is just like I was buying the Burberry wallet and walked to and fro the DFS boutique 5 times to choose and decide! Ge said if I am buying a car now, I would go to the showhouse 100times!!

I am not fickle, I am just careful ~~~~~ I want to love my choice. I want to love my decision.

Ok nevermind, back to my dilemma - I guess no one can really give me a perfect answer because the answer has to come from within, what I just need now is assurance and confirmation, and also confidence to a larger extent. But their valuable weighing of the 2 options' pros and cons have helped me a great deal! I can see things more clearly and openly now..

Saw this in Friendster Horoscope: Upcoming events will open the floodgates for a lot of new people to enter your life -- and a lot more fun to start happening. You'll be entering a youthful phase soon -- late nights and goofy behavior will take up a lot of your time in the near future. It's a good thing that you'll in such a bright, positive frame of mind, because you'll be able to make the most of it. The biggest problems you'll be having right now are trivial -- like which invitations to accept and which to decline.

GOD is talking to me!!!!!!

-------------

Colleagues are important ppl in a workplace. They depict your happiness or sadness in the workplace. Though many a times they start here and end here, however I always believe most importantly is the process you have gone thru together and not the result.

Thanks for always including me in your prayers. In life, such simple gestures are warmer and more touching than anythg else.

"If it is part and parcel of life, it is not worth lamenting." Quoted from Juanz, Thomson :)